children: a brief guild on how to handle them.

So last week I was doing my work experience at my old primary school. And of course everything changed, why are the teachers so nice to me? yada yada all the usual stuff, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about. What I want to talk about those allusive critters called ‘children’. Many studies have been done, experiments of trial and error to find out what goes on in their premature brains, but little conclusions have been made. That’s why I’ve decided to share my limited information gathered from last week and babysitting about the little darlings.

1. Children are easily distracted: if they know they’re doing something wrong they’ll probably keep doing it. However, if you just change the subject it’s unlikely they’ll notice. For example; last week the little Dinkins enjoyed pulling out of me in every form. So one time I turned it into a game of ‘ring around a rosie’. Problem solved.
2. Children are naïve: if you’re still having trouble getting them to stop, just go with the classic and mention you’ve Santa’s number of speed dial. Or if you’re not in a festive mode, use your imagination and tell them about a mysterious figure called Dave who takes naughty boys and girl’s toys away from them when they are bold. Slightly cruel, but hell, it works.
3. Children are stupid: have patience! Even if you have to show them how to write a fecking ‘e’ 200 times at least they’ll know it. Also, they have minds like sponges. Be careful what you say around them, because they won’t forget it.
4. Children are smart: they have more morals than your average 20 year old. They actually listen to the safe cross code and ‘don’t throw your litter in the bin.’ Not to mention ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all’. Not to mention 'say sorry' fixes everything. Some will keep these morals for life, some don’t. It still helps if they learn them anyway.
5. Children are young: they are gullible, they are head wreckers, but they’re only young once. Let them have that time to believe boys have cooties, or that Santa’s real (which he is). Even if it does involve killing the magic for them later on, at least they have those memories to know that they were once kids and that’s what made them who they are today.

Later peeps,
-teri