Easter egg sized Creme Egg.

So.

A month or so ago, I wrote this letter to Cadbury’s.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you of the problem that has plaguing our generation for several years now. I am, of course, referring to the fact that the so-called ‘Crème Egg Easter Egg’ does not contain an Easter egg sized crème egg.

  I severely doubt, and hope that the thought of making this dream of mine and many others a reality has never crossed your mind. However, with Easter, and as you kind people at Cadbury’s call it ‘Crème Egg Season’ fast approaching, the thought has re-entered my head and is refusing to leave.

   I understand that you’re company is a household name worldwide and that you can’t grant every wish that every teenager bestows upon you. Despite this fact, I figured I’d write to you anyway.

  You don’t need me tell you how popular your crème eggs are. Therefore, you continue to sell them. Basic business logic, right? However, consider this; An average, normal size crème egg costs about 60c to buy. An Easter egg pack with two crème eggs can cost around €3. If you were to make a limited edition Easter egg sized crème egg you could easily charge more than €7 for it. Assuming it costs less than 30c to make a crème egg, and about a €1 to make an Easter egg, you could make about €4.50 per egg, nearly double the amount you would make of the old crème egg Easter egg pack.

  Of course, to sell such a thing you would need an audience willing to consume it. After doing some research, I found that 2 061 people on facebook, and counting, have been campaigning to make it happen. And that’s without the help of any mainstream media. Roughly 45 million crème eggs are made and sold every year, and I can assure you about 50% of crème egg fans are hoping with full wallets that this will be the year that an Easter egg sized crème egg will finally become a reality.

  After hearing my points, I know I have convinced you that making said egg would be your smartest Easter egg idea yet.

Good luck with your sales!

 Yours sincerely, (signed)

Teri*

A couple weeks ago, I got this reply.

Dear Teri*

We were pleased to receive your letter and thank you for taking the time and trouble to write to us.

The standard ‘Crème Egg’ has been the most popular confectionary product of its type for many years. We make 1,400,000 every 24 hours and is the top selling confectionery product between Christmas and Easter. Manufacturing a ‘large’ Crème Egg would be very difficult and the retail selling price would probably make it impossible to market successfully.

I am sorry to have to disappoint you on this occasion but once again thank you for your interest in writing on us.

Yours sincerely (signed)

Andrew Hoey.

So.

Honestly I feel like I just wasted their time now but oh well. It was worth a shot.

-teri